Moved to My Own Blog

This blog was permanently moved here :)

Blogger on China's Bad List + Begger Rant

Bye Bye Blogger *sniff*

This is old news at this point but for those of you that are unaware blogger has been being blocked in China for somewhere in the neighborhood of a month. Proxies are allowing me to access and post at this point. I have plans to relocate this blog to my own domain using wordpress to circumvent this unfortunate mishap. I hope my posting of some "controversial" material pertaining to Tibet and Tian'an' men square hasn't provided justification for their blocking. Anything is possible - perhaps I should change my locks and adopt a disguise *chuckle*

A handy tunneling/proxy tool that I've heard was developed by an MIT engineer specifically for Chinese netizens is called Freegate it provides the fastest secure proxied connection I've seen. Even if your not located in China it may be useful to you for its ease of use. Opening the program automatically updates your network settings in IE/Google to utilize the proxy - closing it restores the original settings (thats usually just "Automatically find settings" in my Lan settings) Give it a go if your curious I've already passed it off to anyone I thought could make use of it.

My Apologies! Hot Hot Hot

So sorry for the long absence of posts, I promise to make up for it in the coming weeks! It's really beginning to get hot over here - time for the body to adjust to the stand and sweat climate. I was out the other night with my American buddies and our discussions revolved around the appeal of saunas in this climate. There was a moment of agreement on how unnecessary they were and then Brent commented a collegue of his jested that he prefered sauna's because their were no poor people in them (beggers etc.) Some mild-mannered chuckling followed - its true that even I have grown to lack any and all sympathy for beggers.

I suppose its not fair to say that on an individual level - the people who are on the street begging are truly unfortunate. However the sad fact of the matter is that they are most often employees of an inhumane enterprise that preys on the humanity of their fellow human beings. Taking children from birth and dismembering/burning/disfiguring them so as to increase returns when they ship them out to beg on the streets. I guess the correct thing to say would be that I will never give them money - perhaps food if I happen to be carrying any (O! we did give an elderly begger a bottle of beer several weeks ago) - there is very little righteousness in supporting an organization profiteering off of pity.

Here are some pictures illustrating some of the tactics, unfortuantely I've seen worse - I believe a man with a gaping wound on his leg, no skin at all covering 1/4 of his shin, you could visibly make out the difference in thickness of flesh covering his leg from the wound to undamaged level of skin - sad, sad, sad.

According to my very limited research and experience there are beggers who are legitimate, those of the organized type (often the most disgustingly disfigured) and those who really have no reason to beg save to make a little extra money on the side. It's an ugly part of life that I hope will disintegrate with China's rise out of poverty. P.S.- don't buy flowers from the underaged salesboy who frequents the hooker bars, he will always find you again... 2nd hand experience of course, come now am I that sort of fellow! *chuckle*

Youtube Banning in China

The Video that got Youtube banned in China

After some searching I managed to find this video which may very well be the same video that got Youtube banned in China. You can read more about the worlds view on China's reaction on Time magazine's China blog.

Suzhou, China

Today marks the 3rd day I've been in Suzhou. The city is about an hour outside of Shanghai by car and I must say is much more asthetically appealing than Shenzhen. Common consensus seems to conclude that it's a great place to live though making money is a little more challenging than in SZ. Still, I was taken aback by how generally nice the place looks. They even have a traffic light specifically for bikers. I'll spruce up this post with some pictures and video at a later date, connection speed in the hotel is a bit of a hamper to uploading. A couple noteworthy finds thus far have been a Cold Stone creamery in a nearby collection of higher end restaurants as well as animated (sortof) cross walk lights. (the little green man walks when the light is green.. he has two sets of led's for one leg that alternate producing an animated "walking" figure). I'll have to snap a quick video of that before I leave. Ah! I didn't mention the elevator in the office building my father owns some office space in. You'll have to check out the video I'm going to post here:

Suzhou Elevator - Watch more Funny Videos

As you can see it provides users with a simple numpad display in which you input your desired floor. The system then flashes the elevator number you need to report to accompanied by an audio prompt. When you enter the elevator there are no buttons for you to push to designate the floor you desire - there are only a couple buttons for open/close, emergency stop, and obligatory maintenance/fireman access controls.  Maybe its not quite as entertaing as I thought it was - but you have to find some way of keeping yourself entertained, right? 

Last night wasn't too bad, had a few girls thrown into the mix so I had something to keep myself entertained. Around 3 or 4 we made our way to a coffee shop where I spent the first hour or so fighting off the urge to conk out. Though I could understand a good portion of what was being spat back in forth in Mandarin the usage of vocab I didn't know and dry topic matter being covered motivated me not to bother straining to understand it. Angel showed up thereafter and we found eachother equally amusing. 

Later that night we drove out to a nearby bar and I bumped into another friend of her's Jenny

Camera and my Mandarin proved useful in making small talk and finding excuses to make everyone drink. A good night all and all, called it a night early on when most of the ladies decided to run off to another bar. Free peanuts can only do so much to keep me entertained. ;) 

In other news, Intel is getting sued a record breaking 1.5billion, Google has to reshoot all of its google earth video in Japan as the locals are complaining of an invasion of privacy (resolution is to lower the mounting of the cameras in the cars 40cm). Twitter somehow managed to get some pretty sweet PR with a user flying into space and 'twitting' from the shuttle. Pig flu managed to find a 2nd "in" into China via a returning Chinese student from the US. He managed to get to all the hot tourist spots around Beijing before being commited to quarantine. I found it humourous journalists went so far as to timeline his entire trip, combine it with geographical data and produce a detailed visual representation of the combination. An extensive measure - understandable considering the clout the disease is causing in the media. Behold the power of fear. "20:30 call received from infectee - 21:00 infectee was picked up from station - 23:00 all of his personal belongings were disinfected (torched?)" So far none he's come into contact with have shown any signs of the flu (reported as of Thu, Mar, 14). I spoke in brief with my father about why everyone such a big deal was being made about the flu. His arguement revolved around the power of fear to control people, mine was simply "Drug companies leveraging their power over the media and various organizations in power/with influence to bring it to the forefront of every major newspaper around the world - inducing fear and in turn massive rises in the sales of drugs and related products." It was a half-hearted half-baked thought but that was the tone of our conversation anyway hehe.

For those of you that haven't heard already there is a nifty toolbar available called minggl that allows you to manage several social networking sites from a single interface. A much needed addition to the SEO professionals toolbox. Check it out if your interested in something like that.

Streets of Suzhou

Streets of Suzhou - Watch more Funny Videos

Suzhou Restaurant

Suzhou - Watch more Funny Videos

Oink Oink

Swine Flu O No!

This current even seems to be shaking everything up and I've had some trouble finding out some basic information about the disease so I did a little googling I thought I'd share with everyone. Here is an informative document about some specifics of the disease. It eased some of my concerns and gave me some much needed clarity on the issue. Don't worry it's not the plague its merely a new strain of flu virus which can be combated with traditional flu prevention methods.

As outlined in the article you can take the following steps to safeguard yourself (sorry germaphobes I will not go into exaggerated detail)

1. Keep your hands washed and sanitized


2. Avoid being near others who might be sick to avoid breathing droplets they have sneezed or coughed, or touching something they have touched


3. When you greet others, consider not shaking their hands or hugging or kissing them during this time.


4. If you have travel plans, do some due diligence and consider changing plans if you will be traveling to an area where cases of swine flu, even possible cases of swine flue, have been identified

The disease is spread exactly like any other flu virus, contact with contagious people, contact with infected bovine (pigs are still smarter than dogs), and airborne droplets from sneezes and such (cover your mouth dammit!). Unfortunately its nature seems to favor giving those of us with healthier immune systems a harder time than those usually more at risk (babies, childeren, elders, and those with compromised immune systems). 

Until next time....

Tiananmen Square and Wikipedia

Tiananmen Square 1989

I began reading "Getting Rich First - Life in a Changing China" today in an attempt to stave off a bout of aggrevated depression which comes now and then with my daily stresses and I thought it would be a good idea to dive into the infamous Tiananmen Square incident of 1989. For those of you who are not familiar with the incident I highly recommend reading up on it as it gives exceptional insight into China, it's people, government, and history. You could potentially learn the entirety of China's recent history via this article and the links it contains. Take it a step at a time though I'm still on the first level of links and the amount of information to absorb is mind numbing to say the least.

Hopefully my blog will not get blocked in the coming weeks for mentioning this article and this highlighted historical event *crossing fingers*. I could not help but find the event fascinating as it so vividly displays the turmoil of the country on a global stage. Some noteable finds within my research are details about Tiananmen Square itself - "The Tank Man" "HanDongfang - 韩东方"

some history on key political players at the time including Deng Xiaoping - 邓小平 shame on you if you don't know him by name ;).  Clarification on China's one country, two systems policy and Glasnost and plenty of other goodies all linked up nicely.

Wikipedia & Wikileaks

If your an activist or an aspiring one then you owe it to yourself to take a look at Wikileaks. This is a very intense effort at circumventing corruption by enabling anyone to post documents of a senstive nature (govenement, religious, corporate) that bring corruption and other wrongdoings to light completely anonymously. Developed by Chinese dissidents, journalists, mathematicians and startup company technologists from the U.S., Taiwan, Europe, Australia, and South Africa this is one of the coolest discoveries I've made online recently. Take a look at some of the impact this site has had worldwide posted on the wikipedia page and you'll see what I mean. 

I'd like to give a very quick shout out to Wikipedia in general. Thank you for existing and for being increadibly useful. For those of you that don't know you can set up an account with Wikipedia and begin helping the community update pages as well as add your own informative content. I've hit several bumps when searching for technical terminology revolving around the PCB industry which I would love for a better informed individual to add to the wiki. I'm sure this sentiment is shared by plenty of people who have come to rely on wikipedia as an information resource and as such I encourage everyone capable to add their expertise to fill in the blanks for terms wherever they can. 

Hardcore Webdevelopment @ Home

Nice Hat Mike! That Shirt is not Business Casual...

After a hard days work Mike and I returned back to my home a mere 3 mintues walk from the office to get a little R&R... well the thought is what counts I suppose. My newly acquired internet effectively turned all of my time at home and at the office into productive working time. The workaholic in me sings cheers of praise. Last night I ended up in bed around 6am,  well done sir well done!

Shenzhen Stats and Class Site Up & Running

Shenzhen Statistics

Here are some interesting stats on Shenzhen.

Current Population: 17million+

Urban Density: 10,105.0/km^2 (26,174.1/sq mi) (2007)

SEZ formed (Special Economic Zone): May 1, 1980

Total Land Area: 2,052km^2 (790 sq mi)

Urban Land Area: 395.81km^2 (152.8 sq mi)

Elevation: 25m (82ft) - Global warming flood proof ;)... maybe

Population @ end of 2007: 8,615,500

Internet Users: 253 million +

Global Population Snapshot

Current world Population: 6,773,021,184

China's Population: 1,336,599,805 (1 in 5 baby 1 in 5)

USA Popluation: 306,206,895

For more China related stats you can check out the CIA public factbook on China

Class Site Up and Running

So I finally got my website up and running for Chinese.  Please feel free to leave me feedback on what you feel could be done better and/or could be added to make the site a more valuable resource to those trying to learn the Chinese language. 

Omegle.com

Looking to Talk to Strangers?

Omegle.com is an online chat that will randomly connect you with another online user and allows you to chat annonymously to any end you would like. There is no login or handle to worry about there is only "You" and "Stranger" that converse in cyberspace as mutually ignorant parties. Take a look at the official blog to learn more about whats going on with this webpage.

There is a lot of potential for Leif K-Brooks to make a good deal of money if he can find a way to monetize his traffic. I can think of no short list of ways to do this and I wish him all the best going forward. Maybe if I can open up a dialogue with him I can hitch a ride to the top with him hahah. There is a running dialogue on his blog about it possibly being a copy of www.anicechat.net which I'll have to take a look into when I get a moment. For now I'm going to get back to discussing nonesense with disembodied voices. Ciao!

FYI - you can also check out zoom-in.com for a more detailed blog entry about Omegle.

Bye Bye Youtube

Why are all my Starcraft II Youtube vid's dead links....

Porn I suppose is understandable to block, but the cybercops of the motherland, due to recent controversial footage being posted, have put up blockades around youtube as well - Chinese netizens can no longer view youtube.com - well at least not without the use of a proxy. For those of you that don't know using a browser such as Opera Tor (spelling?), Firefox with a proxy add-on (google foxyproxy if you need this) or even the less user friendly/reliable add-ons to Microsofts archaic browser Internet Explorer [Shame on you if your reading my page through IE!!] will allow you to get around this inconvenience as well as grant you anonymous browsing.

Why is it such an inconvenience to me? one might ask. Well for starters I can no longer easily access scantily clad women stripping and/or dancing in various countries to all sorts of music I've never heard before - thus stemming the development of my international music sense *sigh* Seriously speaking though it is a major pain in the ass as many of the sites I'm developing as well as businessfolk I deal with utilize Youtube in a professional manner to get things done (product demo videos, tutorials, walk-throughs, company introductions, service outlines and so forth) all now appear as dead links (Google loves those *sad face*) traffic generated directly from youtube is also negatively impacted. Though aggrevating, on the lighter side the traffic we're primarily targeting remains in the western world and thus remains unimpacted by this change. Sorry would be ex-patriot customers residing in China you'll just have to deal with text and images for now.

Chinese Language Website 2.0

http://www.chinese.daviddho.com yes it's no mistake the site is down (for now) but fear not it will be up and running again once my head cools down from my last attempt at fixing it up. The endlessly frustrating combination of poor internet connection/reliability and poorly constructed webbased applications does sometimes get the better of me. With any luck I should have this puppy up and running by the end of this week and will allow all of my fellow Chinese language students at the local university Shenzhen Da Xue 深圳大学 access to learning materials me and a few of my friends have contructed, class notes - graciously posted by me everyday - *cough* I mean days that I show up in class, class pictures, linkage to my previous website for the 1st level of Chinese, and some other useful links/online resources. Not to toot my own horn but it is becoming a handy networking resource for meeting reputable foreigners looking to get ahead in life through ventures in China. There is of course the consequential meeting of more ladyfolk involved with this networking but hey, I guess I've learned to cope with that inconvenience. ***That last lines for Sarah - you know who you are***

汉语课-上课！Chinese Class Begins!

The 4th of March, a Wendsday, marked the first day of my elementary level chinese course which I now take M-F from 8:30am to 11:50am. The class is broken into 3 peices a listening course (听力课), a reading course (精读课),  and a spoken class (会话课). The class time is split into 2 class periods split by a 20 min break which are further split by a single 10 min break within each period. It works out to two 40 min sessions of two class types per day. It's one of those things that makes a lot more sense when it's displayed in a table - as I'm too lazy to make such a table you'll unfortunately have to suffer.

There is but one problem that persists in two of my three classes. When something needs to be explained (grammer, vocabulary, usage, etc.) two of our teachers chose to explain that item with chinese - on top of that usually chinese that we haven't been exposed to before. This results in the asker being more confused when the question has been answered then before he had asked in the first place. Now there is no problem with the moderate level of comprehension throughout the class - say when the teachers choose to go on a gesticulated, smile imbued tangent. However my classmates and I believe it is probably best to integrate some English where necessary when explaining new concepts/vocabulary/grammer. 

-End bitch'n'moan section-  

Those interested can take a gander at this Shenzhen Da Xue (深圳大学) class website I put together for my fellow students and myself. Be nice I am well aware it needs more tlc before its really going to be useful to anyone.

Baidu 10 Mythical Creatures

The following entry is a tribute to the article linked in the title of this entry.

For anyone that has spent a significant amount of time in China working with the Chinese people this net roots development is inspiring. Why? you might ask - well one of the biggest problems you will run into trying to work with the Chinese is their collective lack of creative problem solving skills - this applies to all arenas of life, business and otherwise. These Baidu 10 mythical creatures were created as a satirical backlash from chinese netizens against the censurship of many words/sites online. In a humorous display of creative defiance they have created mythical creatures with names sounding equivolent to chinese swear words/slang. They also created accompanying explanations/stories of these animals which cleverly refer to the swear/slang words meaning in some fashion. I personally applaud the creativity and hope to see more, hopefully more tasteful applications, of such creativity in the future.

Fury, Factories, and Friendship

Violence in Dreamland

Last night I had a series of rather violent dreams. The first of which involved something of a perverted bully that was making young children do unspeakable things and a blindfolded ematiated and discoloured young woman bleeding from various locations and moving in an eerie fashion. I think that set closed with the bully getting bitten 'you know where' by one of the children he was abusing - spitting on the kid then knocking over the blindfolded girl and preparing to do well ... you can do the math. 

Then there was a long dream in which I was essentially irate the whole time and was yelling at my mother to tell the truth about who my father was. In my anger I left the world of normal behavioral constraints (I remember deciding this internally) and yelled "I'll smash this fucking chair I don't even care anymore - it doesn't matter" then I grabbed this chair (I actually kind of liked it - was a wooden folding chair) and proceeded to ask her how she'd like me to destroy it. Receiving no reply I smashed it on the brick and placed it on a small pile of burning wood that was in the immediate area (don't ask I have no idea why). I think this vision died out with Dan Akroid in a fireman's suit getting dragged up a snowy slope away from his wrecked firetruck. I think I punched him at some point for not admitting something. If I had to guess I would say about being my father. 

The tone of the entire episode was emotionally exhuasting and I actually woke up in the middle of the night with a sizeable amount of pain in my chest. 

WARNING!: THE FOLLOWING SECTION IS EXCEEDINGLY DRY - READ WITH CAUTION.

Chinese PCB Supplier Visits

Sorry there isn't a sexier way of entitling this part but that is pretty much what I spent Mon and Tues of this week doing. A client of a client (lovely how straightforwarded some of these business relationship is isn't it?) who is in the business of producing GPS cards joined me and my collegue to venture out to inspect 3 chinese PCB factories. This type of arrangement is atypical as we usually only deal with our customer that in turn deals with his customers, but the circumstances were such that this particular client of a client needed to see our customers chinese operations first hand. Get all that? 

This was at first unnerving as this typically exposes us to some risk in that unless this GPS card producer is a solid fellow of principal he could very well make moves to try and cut us out of the picture and go directly to our suppliers. This is the usual fear when dealing with any kind of CM (contract manufacturer) directly. For clarification on the Offshore Procurment Office Solutions we provide for PCB Manufacturers in the East take a look at our website. That should give those of you interested an idea of the business I am in.

Anyway the trip wasn't too exciting, company paid breakfast, lunch and dinner interspersed with long car rides and factory visits. Watching chinese sales staff use their very best english to communicate with my GPS card producing business associate. Along the way I was exposed to the usual PCB jargon which I'm becoming more familiar with as well as some gems of insight - bestowed upon me by said GPS card producer. An experience well worth the time invested. When time permits I'll create a more detailed report of these event on a blog I tend to target that industry with.

DIY MBA Update

Haven't cracked the book since Day 2 so I'm unfortunately a little bit behind (sad face) I'll begin tackling this puppy again later today time permitting.

THIS CONCLUDES THE DRY SECTION OF THIS POST

New Friendship

So I made a new friend over the past couple weeks! Later I'll be sure to give myself a cookie and complementary gold star for the accomplishment. An interesting girl who hails from China and spent 6 years in France going to school and learning the local language. So why would I bother reporting this you might ask. Well its quite simple really - she happens to read this blog and will probably be giggling/get red when she reads this and I'm sure I'll have to be properly repremanded for the infraction - a mutually beneficial act of retribution. Glorious!

Mini-Moto Goodness

The Little Moto that Could

Glorious! Just you wait 'till I get a chance to tear up the streets of Shenzhen with this little puppy. I'm going to make 20mph look good. Adding this little baby to my two sets of roller blades and bike I can now accomodate a total of 4 people on my weekend rides. I suppose that means I'll need to recruit another friend.... a minor chore to attend to when I find some time.

In other News

Yesterday marks the 1st day of teaching english to young children for me. It was highlighted by one of my young Chinese students drawing a picture of me with a dunce hat on and the kids paying more attention to a balloon than to me the entire time. On the positive side the one and only girl I have in my class seems to be particularly studious... at least for a 9 year old. Fear not young ones I will find the courage and tenacity to tame you for your educational benefit soon enough! Let no man say that teaching children between the ages of 5 and 18 is an easy task - it is anything but.

Happy Valentine's Day Benjamin Button

Valentine's Day - Sh!t thats today!?

Well I went and did a very man-like thing this past Saturday. I completely forgot that it was valentine's day. I did manage to figure it out when my girl began crying a bit on the way to my friend's place in Futian - on the bus - when I passed a rather large sign @ window of the world that said "Happy Valentine's Day." The bulb lit, the connection was made and all too quickly everything made sense; the excessive swearing over the phone at my friend by aforementioned female (which I mistook as sarcasm and bullshit for laughs), the knives of negative energy flying off of her in all directions paired up with the silent treatment as we made our way out from my apt that morning, and a few other things where are really none of your business ;). 

I found it funny as last year I had gone to great lengths to ensure my hunny buns was well taken care of and felt like a princess all day. Flowers in the apartment before she got home, dinner reservations at one of her favorite restaurants as well as your standard "Honey you look beautiful!" behavioral and responce patterns (genuine? but of course!) Interesting how one can change so much in so little time. The shift to China was one of priorities as well as geography and the new emotional/interpersonal landscape is not without its pitfalls. 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Last night I got home around 1:30 am and decided to watch "TCCoBB." I thought it would be a nice capper to a weekend filled with Diablo II and an upset girlfriend (your "fuzzy" math may lead you to a different solution). I was... taken a little offguard by the flick, not just because the cover listed playtime (1hr 20min) was completely wrong (I've learned to expect such things from 10RMB DVD's sold on 3-wheel bike carts), but also by the nature of the film itself and its thematic implications. They struck a cord within me that has been touched before by other "life story" movies such as "Legends of the Fall" and "The Notebook" (shut up...) I know brad pitt being in 2/3 of those flicks isn't helping my case much either.

Anyway the point of the matter is that after watching it I was left in an uncomfortable spot of reflection. Initially it was near unbearable to assume the true position of either of the main characters in the film - then its implications to my own journey struck me a little off-balance. A man on a journey backwards biologically bound to a world moving forward, at the end forgetting everything as a child in the arms of a lover at her end as an old lady. Thoughts brought me to what I beleive is a big "why" that those of younger generations have trouble dealing with their elders. They represent an eventuality that we have no interest in dealing with before we have to. It is a shameful loss to both parties - the value of their experience is lost in our neglectance. It is something I should challenge in myself when the opporunity arises.

That night I dreamt something of an oddity - I agreed to marry a woman, a very pretty woman who seemed to be in a very peculiar position. A man lived with her in the apartment next to mine where I also would be welcome to stay with her (and do naughty things, an offer I refused repeatedly). The man was a cook, apparently a very good one, but also seemed to have some sort of arrangement with the woman which I was unable to decern. Her dog also had AIDS (any freudians out there with insight into this?). Those are the big peices that I remember - sorry I couldn't get to a keyboard sooner after I awoke. Anyway that nature of the dream was enough to make me sleep through my alarm - as sometimes my emotionally taxing dreams do. 

Much Bigger Assh@le

The 10 Day MBA 

Day 2

Having mastered the art & science of marketing in Day 1 *hahaha* today I must venture into the world of Ethics. I find the book thus far useful if not a bit overzealous in its claim as a "step-by-step guide to mastering the skills taught in America's top business schools" Don't get me wrong it does seem to have all the fundamental concepts present however it does not provide or grant you access to the experience and practice that are vitally necessary to "mastering" the 9 core MBA disciplines. I'll be sure to give my 2 cents upon completion of the book - which with any luck will be the 21st of February. *make appropriate thinking face* Perhaps an online database of examples of the various processes as well as some well thought out exercises would do the book some good. Never underestimate the value of doing good homework in any matter of life. For those of you that haven't I highly recommend reading from about "II" to the paragraph beginning with "Books are the best of things, well used" of Ralph Waldo Emerson's "The American Scholar" it sums up my thoughts on the usage/value of books pretty well. By the by you really ought to take some time to go through another of his works entitled "Self-Reliance" I don't think there is an employer on the planet who wouldn't think more of you for having read it, not to mention 

Good Morning Teacher 

It would seem that my english skills are of in some demand here - to date I have two tentative arrangements to do some part time work tutoring chinese students in the ways of american english - not to be confused with the "cheeky" british english that is typically force fed to them throughout their formal education. I can't think of a single time when I've even heard of an english speaking person refer to a truck as a "dolly" or a bloody stroller as a "pram". I found this amusing British Life and Culture site while googling - you may want to reference lest you never know what I mean when I call you a "ruddy ploughman eating pillock" 

Chinese Cultural Frustrations - How Increadibly Inconsiderate!

You can bet that if you spend any reasonable amount of time in urban developed (or more accurately put developing) China you will find yourself in many instances breathing in 2nd hand smoke in areas you would normally assume a degree of courtesty would be exercised. Now let me first acknowledge that I in particular have a healthy distain for smoking - and an even greater intensity of that feeling towards those that act without concern for others whilst smoking. That said the last time I was in the elevator a gentleman (a**h@le muthafu#*a) *cough* thought it prudent to enter the elevator with a lit butt and puff away in the small confines of our vertical community transport. He maintained the all too familiar distantanced demeanor as he went about his motions. It seemed all degrees of intensity of my cold stare went unnoticed - my release culminated with the raising of my middle finger in his general direction as he walked out of the building, this also went unnoticed. I suppose the act was done purely to satisfy my rage, not much else I can do - that is until my Chinese is at a level where I can tactfully express my opinion to those inconsiderate folk. 

This is another peice of the puzzle you will come to know in time should you venture long here - derived from the peoples historic experience - their lingering tendancy to distance themselves from the moments and realities they are existing in. The tendancies potency seems to have a direct correlation to the social position of the person (ie the poorer / harder the life the more distanced). Of course take a nice big grain of salt with that as it is a generalization. However this phenomenon I tend to sympathize with - their are parts of their social history which haven't exactly been supportive of individualism and were so unbareable distancing was necessary to get by. Google the cultural revolution if your unfamiliar - much to be learned from one of Chairman Mao's last tragic gifts to the Chinese people. Just kidding I love you Chairman Mao - *smile for the nice chinese secret service man.

A Chinese New Year Wedding

Back to my Ancesteral Roots - Humbling Ties

So after my little trip to HK the day before I ventured out to a little place called Zhao Qing about 3 hours west of Shenzhen still inside GuangDong province. You can see a map here for clarification. I started off with a stop at a little restaurant which sported such features as "walls" and "running water" beside a small pond where they got their flagship dish a good sized freshwater fish. You can see some of these poor bastards flapping around in this quick video I took. All and all a pretty decent meal - who can complain with 16lbs of fish on the table :).

After the meal I ventured over for a quick tour of my ancestoral village where I took the liberty of filming a tour through the allyways to one of my uncles dwellings. It was indeed a humbling experience to see how those that came before me lived - though I'm sure it was more appealing in years past it can't have been too much better, their wasn't much potential to build on. That aside the people I met were festive and warm all around - I suppose thats because I'm related to them and I've seen them o... once before in my life probably a few months off my mommas milk. 

The highlight of my trip came the next day when the Wedding took place. The traditional Chinese wedding customs are not without their charms - I found them endlessly entertaining. The fun part basically works like this: The bride is placed in the home (in this case a traditional old brick home in the village) and all the women related to her rush into the house and lock the door behind them. The groom and his posse then come to the entryway demanding to have the woman - the women inside fend them off with words and other means (in our case silly string and fire crackers). I managed to get myself in the house with all the chicks - thought I'd give them something to look at while they went about their duty. *high five... anyone*  What! what do you mean they're all related to me... buzzkill... -_- 

Anyway after much arguing and the groom passing plenty of money through windows or whathaveyou to the women they let the groom and his men in to claim the wife. Thereafter there is some sort of walk together after which the entire entorage makes their way to the wife's family's house to have a meal.  You can view a quick vid of the women arguing with the men from the rooftop (the one on the left in pink is my cousin Yuki - she keeps asking for 999 money, a lucky amount which is typically asked for at these sorts of things), or watch the women hold the door closed, or the final break in to the house here.

It was good to see some of my cousins again and make new ties to old family that I've never met. From time to time I think its important to try and honor those that came before you and keep some tie to those that share your blood - though I must say that task has varying degrees of difficulty dependant upon which cultural/ethinic group you descend from. Until next time....... *cue theme music

Happy Chinese New Year 新年好!

Happy Chinese New Year and welcome

So begins my account of my adventures over the Chinese new year. For those of you that don't know the Chinese holiday extended from January 26th to about February 2nd. The holiday is heavily populated with fireworks, family gatherings, community events and a shmorgasborg of other celebratory customs. 

1-27-09 The Boat, The Fireworks, and the Fishing Line

I was fortunate through the good graces of my father and his friendship with some of the more successful Hong Kong people to spend the 27th on the water in HK harbor. Not only did I get to fish my very first blowfish out of the sea (though I wasn't quite sure what to do with it once I had it out of the water.. what is it they say.. something about humans and fearing the unknown.) but I got to witness the entire fireworks display from a great vantage point.

My first treat was to steer the boat around once we got out of the harbour. You can see my goofy-ass captaining this poor vessle if you'd like. I also did a brief boat tour before running topside to sit in the captains seat. If you happen to be extreamly bored (lucky you) feel free to watch this o so entertaining video of the traditional lion dance I took while bobing up and down in the water waiting for the fireworks to start. 

Back to the fireworks - I managed to get most of the exploding goodness on video, thought I have to apologize for the choppiness - the sea was quite determined not to let me have stable footing. It was o so lovely minus the lack of wind which left half of the sky stage clouded with smoke. You can see that pretty clearly in the second video I took. The finale was ooooo! and aaaaaahhh!! inspiring as always. If you do happen to be clicking through these video's and notice the odd beeping sound between fireworks blasts your not imagining things - thats just the boat whining because one of its motors broke after eating my uncle's fishing line.

Ah yes the final leg of my sea tale yaharrg harr harrg! *ahem. I've been resisting doing that - be nice - you'd enjoy it too if you got the chance to say it. Anyway apparently whilst we were fishing before we mosey'd over to our chosen spot to view the fireworks my uncle had managed to get his fishing line sucked up by one of the motors (mind you this was some cheap stuff I'm talking about). Suffice to say it ended up taking out one of the aforementioned motors and we had to get picked up by a nearby touring yacht which brought us to shore @ Causeway bay. My uncle (the gent in the "Captain David" video called Kelvin by my father ) was none to happy about that.

Wandering Aftermath

After getting ashore and saying our goodbye's to our relatives (take this term loosly you have to remember I'm talking within a Chinese context wherein "uncle" literally translates into "friend of father" :-) my father and I decided to add a little mischief to our evening. He called up my uncle KP who was in town with his son Roger and we made our way to a pub called The Groom and Carriage which was conveniently located next to such bars as "The Pussy Cat" and "Bottoms Up" as well as "Club Bunny," I'm going to assume no explanation is necessary. Hey a little eye candy after pounding down some no-longer US owned Budweisers can't do any harm... can it? 

After much adult-level giggling and other conversational goodies of like quality we said our goodbyes infront of The Pussycat Bar and groggily made our way back to the Wanchai bus station to hitch a ride back to Shenzhen. Not much to highlight save the usual inhebriated arguements about who's perspective is right and who's was wrong when it came to explaining our families condition (don't worry I'll spare you the details). Luckily a pair of abnoxious chinesefolk refused to shut up in the seats behind us on the way back and it managed to draw the majority of my father's attention away from said topic. One day we'll get that all figured out ;)

A Late Night Rant

What follows is a little late night catharsis and reflection - 

I'm sure more things of this type will follow in time. 

If your feeling sentimental dig right on in!

So it occurred to me today that perhaps a brief release might aid in my tollerance of my day to day life here in China. Perhaps a candid rant about my father would allow me to lesson the load on my back. We've come a long way as a father and son and though I am proud of what I have allowed myself to do on his/our behalf, though I understand - to some extent - why he has difficulty dealing with some parts of his past and himself, I cannot help but to be increadibly pissed off by his emotional ignorance at times. I can't claim to completely understand it as I don't know too much about his past. It is obvious that he has issues with his pride - issues that he may never fully confront. When aggrevated or irratable he reverts back to his usual capcious self - to the point that its not worth the effort to engage him. I remember a month or so ago when he came over to my desk complained in brief about something on my desk and then walked away. This however is something I've grown accustomed to as I've experienced so much of it growing up. I think what aggrevates me the most currently is his argumentative nature when conversing with me. I don't know where it arises from but it is quite obvious that the default reaction to any declaration on my part is to object and/or disagree. It makes no difference what it is in particular that we're talking about, I think simply the fact that I am the declarer merits this reaction. I suppose I can understand it in another way - when something is proposed to me from him I too adapt the stance of objection. However I moderate myself heavily, I'm much more apt to overcome that initial reaction. Perhaps it has something to do with the closeness of our relationship, the same can be said for much of my family - though that can easily be argued a result of the examples of interaction with loved ones we grew up around. 

So what exactly is the original source of this disposition? Is it a cultural phenomenon? Is it a portion of his own past that somehow taught him this was the proper way to interact with those close to you? Perhaps some injury or defense mechanism operating from long before i was born. I can easily see its influence on his behavior and its effect on me and my brothers throughout my life. Of course he could never approve of anything I did, it was necessary that he chop me down whenever he could for whatever reason he could find. His tactic isn't completely unsound its his lack of moderation that makes it a downright toxic influence to a developing individual. In many cases as i mentioned before it didn't matter what the subject was or the circumstances surrounding the origination of a conversation/arguement - there was always something that could be disagreed with and argued over. I remember a time, when I was on harsher terms with my father, we were arguing about whether or not it was possible to "teach" certain characteristics or if they were in fact inate and there was little to be done about changing them. I began the conversation claiming that of course you could teach/reinforce any characteristic you'd like in your children - as a parent what you do and what you DON'T do all have the power to influence. He disagreed on some grounds or another. By the time we arrived at the store (forgot to mention we were driving to wal-mart ~15 min drive) he was arguing my side and i was arguing the other. This was no mistake I intentionally switched camps to prove a point - it didn't matter where I sat or what I choose to talk about - far more often than not he was apt to disagree and argue. Adopting strong meaningful grounds for argument based on beliefs and experience as opposed to reactionary meaningless ones, and being able to discern those things not worth arguing about, would have made his parenting techniques much more effective.

    

Then there is the ever aggrevating rationalization he holds to explain my depression when I was in college. It must be due to genetics and the fact that I took the drug "Accutane," god forbid he accept any blame for my experience growing up. It is so painfully obvious that this rationaliztion, like so many others, are completely self-serving. I told him for a long time I believed in the "nurture" side of the nature v. nurture argument but that as I had developed a stabler mindset I realized that that too was a self-serving rationalization of my character and experience. There is nothing absolute and difinitive about either side of that arguement and a unbiased, level-headed individual of a rational sort would have no trouble seeing the merit to both sides. Perhaps it inspires so much of a reaction out of me because its dismissive of my experience and acknowledges how little he listens to some of what I say when it comes to tender matters - where accepting what I say would be emotionally harmful to him. Even to this day I do and probably will always have to be the "bigger" person when it comes to some things. The other night as we came back from HK in a half-inebriated daze we were arguing about our family and whose ideas/perspective were valid and whose was not - I came to a point in the argument where he could say nothing in responce - I think something along the lines of him simply owning what he was and forgiving himself so we could all move on - perhaps it was someting else - I'm not certain. I could have continued to pound him with that point - I could have been beligerant - but I knew that what had been said was enough, that it was not right to take advantage of my power in that situation to berate him. That is not a luxury he would grant me, nor is it one that I believe he is even aware of me awarding him. At least its no longer detrimental, its just an irritant that must be tollerated and worked on from both sides. I must exercise tollerance and ignore certain trespasses whose intentions are well grounded. I am proud of my strength in his presence and know that it makes me a stronger person each day overcoming that challenge. I know who I am and strive to become who I want to be - I can face most anything with resilience, though of course I have my setbacks, my unwillingness to let them conquer me is whats most important.

I miss my kin, though we're not much for gooshy talk just spending time with my brothers is satisfying. I wish my life now didn't require me to be so far away from them - I suppose it will in time only make us appreciate one another more. I hope they'll be ok - materially I have few worries about my middle brother but there are pieces of his emotional self that do cause me some worry. There isn't much I can do about it, he is too much like one side of me, like a big part of my father - analytic, stressed - dense and dissatisfied and not easily approachable when it comes to some matters. There is no talking to him about things which has already written off as not important enough to devote energy to and/or ridiculous - and I actually admire that to some extent, he is a strong person - a loving brother and son - and with a little work on his softer side to moderate that analytic engine of his he could be damn near unstopable. I wonder to what degree he has deconstructed himself - does he draw the link between his stance on how to deal with problems that he interpretes as pragmatically unsolvable and our father's like methodology. My father's choice to live in China, in effect abandoning his family - a problem which he didn't see himself able to do anything about - clearly displays his disposition. I know he acknowledges or has at least begun to acknowledge how much of what he has done in his life and continues to do is to please my father - that is the very beginning of the ordeal I went through. Though I think he holds it against me to some extent - I hope that in time he will understand that it was simply the difference in our temperment and character that caused me to falter as I did growing up under the same roof as he did. I fight when he would write it off as an unnecessary waste of energy - it is how I've always been. 

Jack, I guess I'm guilty of being less than I want to be as a brother to him at this point. I have about as much experience with his life now as my father did with his us after he moved back to China. I only know what I hear about whats going on in his life and what I saw when i was back for Christmas. I worry because of the 'laziness' though I do not believe in such a condition for people our age. I know there is a lot more to it than lack of energy or will. He is tenacious, passionate, articulate, but lost. So much like what I experienced in myself during that time period. He is unique but not unlike me in some fundamental ways. He doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't fight and engage, he has the ability but he remains by and large reactionary. It is not an easy thing to learn - the necessity of grapping with life and its challenges. I know the ineffectiveness of the methodology we adopt to motivate ourselves out of that condition - the voice of my father. I don't think he's come to experience a depression as deep as mine but I believe with very little uncertainty that he at the very least oscillates in and out of depression. Its obvious to me when I see how he spends his time and how he reacts to certain threats/challenges presented to him. I'm glad that he is at least seems approachable - I don't know where he has set up his barriers and i don't know if he'd trust me to enough to let me inside them - but he's not as stoneheaded as Mat. He would really be in a tough place to move forward in life if he were both depressed and stoneheaded.

I suppose I should devote a sentance or two to yelling at my brothers for treating me as they did when I was dealing with my dad shit. Looking at me as if I were a problem, assuming that there was something wrong with me as opposed to challenging themselves to explore the possiblity that the causation of my condition lay in my experience of my father. I suppose its not much different from the other things they gave me shit for growing up, all the things that I experienced first and they chose to ridicule my responce to - only to end up doing the same thing when it came their turn. Best examples I can think of were when I learned to drive and when i crashed my car. They both in turn had similar experiences learning to drive and in time smashing their own vehicals. Guess the connection wasn't so distinctly drawn in their minds. 

I'm confident in time they will see what i went through as an act of love for my family - they will each of them benefit from how I challenged myself in that time and the peices of myself and my experince growing up that I overcame. Jack probably sooner than Mat if I had to guess. The insight and understanding of my family my ordeal granted me along with the strength and confidence I've grown into will provide me with the power to help them when they come to terms with their own personal battles. I believe those times will come to pass but I'm not without understanding that they may never come. I believe it best to be prepared for it so as to limit the damage if possible. I've saccraficed more than 3 years of my life dealing with these things - the voices and experiences of my upbringing as they played into who I was - and I'll be damned if it costs my brothers more than it absolutely must.

 

As I see it everything I do I feel is for my family, I hope they respect and understand that in time. I fight my mother now for my family, I live here in China and challenge myself to continue fighting my father and develop myself for my family, in time if I have to I will fight both of my brothers for the sake of my family. I will work my ass off, be successful, fight the world so I can give back to my family. I fight myself daily to overcome my weaknesses so that I can occupy a position where I can give back to them - this is the core of my motivation which falls even before my own desires for success and riches - and they are already quite ambitious :-).